Top 10 Signs that Glenn Beck is Insane

10. Barking like a dog 9. His own panel of guests are baffled by his incoherent rants 8. He experiences esoteric hallucinations about killing Michael Moore

Fascism Fail: Hitler Had Jewish And African Heritage

DNA tests have revealed that History Channel favourite Adolf Hitler was in fact a member of many of the “subhuman races” that he tried to eliminate during the Holocaust. Historian Marc Vermeeren, together with Belgian journalist Jean-Paul Mulders traced 39 … Continue reading →

Japanese Scientists Found To Be Complicit in ‘Potato Torture’

Vegetable Cruelty

Scientists from Obihiro University in Hokkaido, Japan have admitted to complicity in the routine torture of potatoes, it has been revealed.

Study leader Kazunori Hironaka claimed that the potatoes were being electrocuted to boost their antioxidant levels. He explained in an American Chemical Society News Release,

“Treating the potatoes with ultrasound or electricity for five to 30 minutes increased the amounts of antioxidants — including phenols and chlorogenic acid — by as much as 50 percent,”

He added that the use of ultrasound or electricity could be used to increase antioxidant levels in many other foods, and thus increasing their health benefits. The findings are due to be presented at the national meeting of the American Chemical Society this week in Boston.

Wait until the National Potato Council hears about this.

Source: Business Week

Top 10 Tips for Surviving Past Age 25

1. Try to avoid hostage situations and countries with enthusiatic pro-gun supporters.
2. Avoid consuming cancerous products such as tobacco, alcohol, sunlight, red meat, and Johnson’s Baby Shampoo.
3. Disaster-prone countries are also a no-no.


Never answer the door to this guy

4. Drink red wine. Wait…scratch that.
5. Get more exercise. Unless exercising causes exposure to threats mentioned in tip 1.
6. Become depressed.
7. Become happy.
8. Commit polygamy.
9. Get some FRIENDS.
10. Stop watching Friends.

Twitter ‘Not Actually Better Than Sliced Bread’

A team of researchers at Harvard has found that Twitter is not, as has previously been reported, the greatest invention since waffles.

LOOK! WAFFLES!

In the study, they found that only 10% of users, or Twits generate over 90% of its content, with over half of users only updating their pages once every 74 days. This compares to an average social networking site where the top 10% of users account for 30% of its content.

Recent research by Nielsen also found that Twitter has one of the lowest return user rates of any networking site, with 60% of Twits in the US failing to return the following month.

Bill Heil, a Harvard Business School graduate who conducted the research explained, ”The Harvard data says very, very few people tweet and the Nielsen data says very, very few people listen consistently”

Twits everywhere will undoubtedly be disappointed to learn that no one is actually listening to them.

via: BBC

Home Computers 732% More Evil Than 13 Years Ago

If you own a home computer, it is over seven times more likely to try and kill you now than it would have been in 1992, new statistics have shown.

No amount of pressing the 'Help' key can save you once a computer turns.

Findings in the American Journal of Preventive Medicine have shown that, in that 13-year period, almost 80,000 patients were treated in the US for injuries inflicted by computers.

Children under 5 are at particular danger of being victimised, mainly due to falls from tripping over cables, or demonic monitors throwing themselves at the children’s heads.

The UK has seen a similar rise in electronic acts of Satan, with injuries rising from 800 in 1995 to over 1,800 in 1999 and 2,100 in 2002 , the latest figures show. 

Parents are advised to keep young children away from the blood-thirsty killing machines, and also not to play John Mayer’s music on them, as this is thought to anger them further.

via: BBC

Shock Study Finds Wusses Are ‘More Likely To Vote Republican’

A headline-inducing study has found that more squemish people are more likely to vote for right wing political parties, it has been reported.

Researchers in North America have found that feelings of disgust are linked with political beliefs, with more easily disgusted people more likely to vote for more conservative parties.

Easily creeped out? Vote for this guy!

Experiments assessed people’s sensitivity to potentially squemish subjects and its relation to political ideology by asking them about slime, insects, and various political topics.

Participants who had the highest levels of disgust sensitivity were also more likely to oppose abortion and gay marriage, but support tax cuts.

Psychologist David Pizarro explained:

“People have pointed out for a long time that a lot of our moral values seem driven by emotion, and in particular, disgust appears to be one of those emotions that seems to be recruited for moral judgments.”

Shockingly, the result means that wusses perfectly rational people who are more averse to slime or creepy animals are more likely to vote for such conservative heroes as George Bush, John McCain and David Cameron. Hmmmm.

via: news:lite

Obese Pregnant Women Advised Not To Become Pregnant With Food

Tens of women are known to have become pregnant with chocolatey food-babies.

A new study has shown that women who are overweight while pregnant may not need to gain any weight, as long as they focus on healthy, balanced eating.

Researcher Yvonne Thornton, MD, explained, 

“The take-home message is that you can eat well during your pregnancy without overeating, and pregnancy should not be a license to overeat, and pregnancy should not be a contributing factor to the epidemic of obesity in this country,”

The Institute of Medicine currently recommends that obese women gain between 11 and 20 pounds during pregnancy, but this new research finds that they can be healthy by maintaining their weight and a balanced diet.

Krispy Kreme will undoubtedly be disappointed by the news.

via: webMD

Talking On A Cell Phone ‘Will Make Your Arm Fall Off’*

Researchers are reporting that extended cell phone use can result in a new phenomenon, dubbed ‘cell phone elbow’ that can affect habitual cell phone users.

Just so we're clear, this is an elbow.

 

Formally known as cubital tunnel syndrome, the symptoms include numbness, tingling and pain in the forearm, which all arise from bending the elbow for extensive periods of time. 

This causes the blood flow to ulnar nerve to become restricted, and can produce symptoms similar to those experienced when hitting the “funny bone”, explained Dr. Peter J. Evans, director of the Cleveland Clinic’s Hand and Upper Extremity Center. He compared the effect to “stepping on a garden hose”.

Although the syndrome will initially only cause discomfort, it can develop into weakened muscle strength, co-ordination and mobility. Evans also reports that in extreme cases the pinky and ring fingers can also become deformed.

In other words, get off the phone unless you want to look like that guy from Scary Movie.

via: redOrbit

*Headline may contain intentionally misleading elements.

Poorly-Timed Study Finds Flying Is Safer Than Ever

In a demonstration of truly unfortunate timing, transportation statistics have shown that flying is still one of the safest forms of transportation available, with statistics showing much improvement upon previous years.

Cars: Nature's killing machines.

Although plane crashes are more likely to make headlines, they are far less likely than car accidents, which remain one of the most dangerous forms of transport. According to the National Transportation Safety Bureau (NTSB), 44 people died in air crashes in the United States in 2007, while auto crashes killed 44,000.

Bill Voss, a representative of the Flight Safety Foundation, said that despite recent high-profile incidents, flying “is still spectacularly safe”.

So there you go. Getting on a plane will most likely not kill you. Getting in your car might, though.

via: LiveScience at Yahoo!