‘We’re All Gonna Die’ -WHO

The World Health Organisation has officially declared a global influenza pandemic, in light of the swine flu pandemic.

In severe strains of flu, people have been known to turn into cartoons.

The declaration means that the swine flu virus has spread across at least two continents, with cases having arisen in the UK, Australia, Japan and Chile.

Official reports claim that there are almost 30,000 known cases globally, with 141 deaths and rising.

It is the first flu pandemic since 1968, in which about a million people died.

Mass panic is expected to ensue.

via: BBC

Cancer Advice ‘Causes Cancer’*

This is what pills look like.

Many Britons are finding the conflicting reports over causal links with cancer to be confusing, and an alarming number are choosing instead to ignore such warnings. In a study by YouGov, over a quarter of respondents said they now completely disregard such findings, which could potentially lead to someone somewhere maybe one day not realising that the potato they ate could have possibly given them cancer maybe. 

In related news, Piers Morgan has been linked with Spontaneous Hatred Syndrome, a leading cause of throwingthingsatthetv-ism. Seven people have now been confirmed with the disease.

via: BBC

*Title may have no basis in actual fact