Men Jailed For Saviour-napping Baby Jesus

Two men in Kentucky have been imprisoned for stealing a baby Jesus from a family’s Nativity scene over Christmas last year.

This is what Christmas is all about.

The men, aged 21 and 19, were sentenced to 45 days in jail and 2 years probation after pleading guilty to the charges of theft and receiving stolen property – both misdemeanours. Police also recovered other various Christmas decorations from the men’s apartment.

Attorney David Dalton said that most first-time theft charges did not receive jail time, but added:

“Parents shouldn’t have to explain to children why someone would steal ‘baby Jesus’ out of a Nativity scene or rip decorations from the side of the house. It was a stupid stunt and deserved some jail time.”

Jesus was later to reappear in a marmite lid, before being recovered in their apartment of ill-begotten Christmas decorations.

via: cnews

Jesus Returns To Earth In Form Of Marmite Lid

A family in South Wales have become the latest chosen ones to be visited by Jesus Christ himself in the form of an item of food.

If you look really closely, you can make out a scene from The Nativity.

Claire Allen was the first to be visited by the Saviour of our sins as she spread the notorious yeast extract on her son’s toast. In disbelief, she showed the sacred image to her husband, who confirmed that the image was, in fact, that of Jesus.

When I first looked at it I wasn’t sure, but when I moved it away from me it started coming out. I thought Christ, yeah, she’s right – that’s the image of Jesus.

Blashpemy aside, this is the second recorded Jesus sighting this week, with a woman also having found him in a bag of cheesy-poofs.

In related news, I thought I saw the Sasquatch this morning, but it turned out to be a cat.

via: The Scotsman