Top 10 Signs that Glenn Beck is Insane

10. Barking like a dog 9. His own panel of guests are baffled by his incoherent rants 8. He experiences esoteric hallucinations about killing Michael Moore

Gridlocked: 62-mile Traffic Jam Keeps Infuriates Chinese for 9 Straight Days

Gas break honk. Gas break honk. Honk honk punch.

An almighty traffic jam in China has reached truly epic proportions by keeping commuters in traffic for nine consecutive days.

The gridlock began on August 14 between the Inner Mongolia Autonomous Region and the Chinese capital of Beijing, according to local media, and extends over 100km. To make matters worse, several breakdowns and fender-benders have been reported as commuters have been left frustrated.

While congestion is a common problem in China, it is believed that the construction on a section of the Beijing-Tibet Expressway is contributing to the problem by forcing more traffic to reroute. Construction is expected to continue until September 13th, by which point most employees will have probably been fired.

Niu Fengrui, Director of the Institute for Urban and Environmental Studies at the Chinese Academy of Social Sciences, commented to state media, “If there’s no traffic jam in the city, that would be news.”

Source: CNN

Top 10 Tips for Surviving Past Age 25

1. Try to avoid hostage situations and countries with enthusiatic pro-gun supporters.
2. Avoid consuming cancerous products such as tobacco, alcohol, sunlight, red meat, and Johnson’s Baby Shampoo.
3. Disaster-prone countries are also a no-no.


Never answer the door to this guy

4. Drink red wine. Wait…scratch that.
5. Get more exercise. Unless exercising causes exposure to threats mentioned in tip 1.
6. Become depressed.
7. Become happy.
8. Commit polygamy.
9. Get some FRIENDS.
10. Stop watching Friends.

Budget Cuts Force Bomb Squads to Build Own Disposal Experts

Source: Ricecracker

Man Grossly Misinterprets Horse Riding Guide

Source: Eduardo Amorim

OMG, Gov'na! Brits Spend Half of Life on Technology

Look at these DOUCHEBAGS!

A potentially misleading new study has found that the average Briton spends half of their day watching television, using their phone, computers or other technological devices.

The study, conducted by everyone’s-favourite-killjoy Ofcom, found that multitasking was helping to drive the surge of technology use, with social networking sites particularly draining people’s time.

Peter Phillips, the Ofcom Partner of Strategy & Market Developments, said:

“For the first time we can see just how central media and communications are to our lives – on average we use them for nearly half our waking hours…

“Younger people have shown the biggest changes in how we use media – particularly using different media at the same time.  But the divide between younger and older people’s use of technology is starting to narrow as more older people are getting online and finding that things like email are very important to them.

It is not known exactly how much tech use will continue to grow and expand, but hopefully someday there will be no need for human contact at all! (I’m looking at you, Tesco).

Source: Ofcom

Monkey, Bird Form Diabolical Alliance

Photo: hto2008

Wanted: Human Impersonator & Generally Evil

Photo: Gattou/Lucie

‘We’re All Gonna Die’ -WHO

The World Health Organisation has officially declared a global influenza pandemic, in light of the swine flu pandemic.

In severe strains of flu, people have been known to turn into cartoons.

The declaration means that the swine flu virus has spread across at least two continents, with cases having arisen in the UK, Australia, Japan and Chile.

Official reports claim that there are almost 30,000 known cases globally, with 141 deaths and rising.

It is the first flu pandemic since 1968, in which about a million people died.

Mass panic is expected to ensue.

via: BBC

Evil Shark Plans Thwarted By Presence Of Roof

Photo: Daveybot