Baseball Coach Uses Players To Assist Burglary

An delightfully dastardly elementary school baseball coach in Washington has been accused of using members of his team to help him break into a local store.

Baseball skills are known to be widely transferrable

The legal documents allege that the man took his son and two other members of the team to an empty store in Arlington.

Police claim that the man’s son crawled in through the air vent and unlocked the back door for his father, who then used his finely honed coaching skills to encourage them to retrieve things from inside. One of the boys later told his stepfather of what had happened, and he subsequently informed the police.

Prosecutors charged the 31-year-old with burglary on Monday. The boys are not expected to be charged.

via: cnews

Bolt Decides To Give Everyone Else A Chance In 2012

Jamaica’s Usain ‘Lightening’ Bolt has decided against running for three individual Olympic golds in London 2012. There had previously been claims that the International Association of Athletics Federations would have to rearrange the timetable in London such that Bolt would … Continue reading →

Football Fans to Celebrate Being Slightly Less Mediocre

The slogan translates to 'Back to Being Average'

Gillingham Football Club Fans are set to take to the streets in celebration of the clubs promotion from League Two in the wake of a last-gasp goal in the play-offs on Saturday. 

A victory parade is being held for the club after a special assembly at Rochester Castle taking place this afternoon.

C-average students across the country are thought to be celebrating this moral victory.

via: BBC