Japanese Scientists Found To Be Complicit in ‘Potato Torture’

Vegetable Cruelty

Scientists from Obihiro University in Hokkaido, Japan have admitted to complicity in the routine torture of potatoes, it has been revealed.

Study leader Kazunori Hironaka claimed that the potatoes were being electrocuted to boost their antioxidant levels. He explained in an American Chemical Society News Release,

“Treating the potatoes with ultrasound or electricity for five to 30 minutes increased the amounts of antioxidants — including phenols and chlorogenic acid — by as much as 50 percent,”

He added that the use of ultrasound or electricity could be used to increase antioxidant levels in many other foods, and thus increasing their health benefits. The findings are due to be presented at the national meeting of the American Chemical Society this week in Boston.

Wait until the National Potato Council hears about this.

Source: Business Week

OMG, Gov'na! Brits Spend Half of Life on Technology

Look at these DOUCHEBAGS!

A potentially misleading new study has found that the average Briton spends half of their day watching television, using their phone, computers or other technological devices.

The study, conducted by everyone’s-favourite-killjoy Ofcom, found that multitasking was helping to drive the surge of technology use, with social networking sites particularly draining people’s time.

Peter Phillips, the Ofcom Partner of Strategy & Market Developments, said:

“For the first time we can see just how central media and communications are to our lives – on average we use them for nearly half our waking hours…

“Younger people have shown the biggest changes in how we use media – particularly using different media at the same time.  But the divide between younger and older people’s use of technology is starting to narrow as more older people are getting online and finding that things like email are very important to them.

It is not known exactly how much tech use will continue to grow and expand, but hopefully someday there will be no need for human contact at all! (I’m looking at you, Tesco).

Source: Ofcom

‘Millionth Word’ Fiasco Sparks International Catastrophe*

Word nerds have been a little bit ticked off recently at the hype following the addition of the millionth word to the English language by a group in the US.

Words often find themselves at the centre of conflicts.

The Global Language Monitor (GLM) recently heralded the term ‘Web 2.0′ to be the millionth English word introduced to the language. The term referrs to the so-called second generation of internet development that has ushered in the new age of online social networking.

The GLM officially acknowledges a new word once it has been used 25,000 times on media and social networking sites such as Facebook and Twitter. It estimates that a new English word is born every 98 minutes.

However, many language experts have been left bemused by the claims.

Twitter ‘Not Actually Better Than Sliced Bread’

A team of researchers at Harvard has found that Twitter is not, as has previously been reported, the greatest invention since waffles.

LOOK! WAFFLES!

In the study, they found that only 10% of users, or Twits generate over 90% of its content, with over half of users only updating their pages once every 74 days. This compares to an average social networking site where the top 10% of users account for 30% of its content.

Recent research by Nielsen also found that Twitter has one of the lowest return user rates of any networking site, with 60% of Twits in the US failing to return the following month.

Bill Heil, a Harvard Business School graduate who conducted the research explained, ”The Harvard data says very, very few people tweet and the Nielsen data says very, very few people listen consistently”

Twits everywhere will undoubtedly be disappointed to learn that no one is actually listening to them.

via: BBC

Doing It For The Quids: Recession Keeping Marriages Together

Despite its bad press, the recession has proved to be a magical marriage healer for British couples, a study has shown.

The one on the right is the dude.

Grant Thornton accountants conducted the study on matrimonial lawyers, and almost half attributed the fall in divorce rates to the impact of the recession, which prevents couples from being able to afford separate homes. 

Robert Kerr, a partner at Grant Thornton’s Forensic and Investigation Services, explained that, “Reasons vary but certainly the financial carve-up that follows a divorce settlement will be at the forefront of a couple’s minds when contemplating divorce,”

Heroic Researchers Finally Find Answer To Most Perplexing Question In History Of Universe

In a noble act of self-sacrifice, academic researchers have finally answered the question that nobody really asked has bamboozled humankind since the dawn of time: Does James Bond prefer blondes?

Business World To Men: ‘You Suck. Have A Raise’

A libellous new study has found that women make better career decisions than their male counterparts, which also comes in light of the news that men are more likely to be victims of the recession.

If you are a woman, you probably don't know that this shiny stuff is called 'money'.

According to the study, women take fewer professional risks (19% versus 26%), but are more likely to make informed career decisions (47% of women versus 41% of men).

Perhaps this would explain that shameful Apprentice final.

However, fortunately for men, despite their more poorly advised career decisions, there’s still that ever-widening pay gap. God bless the pay gap.

via: Management Today

Shock Study Finds Wusses Are ‘More Likely To Vote Republican’

A headline-inducing study has found that more squemish people are more likely to vote for right wing political parties, it has been reported.

Researchers in North America have found that feelings of disgust are linked with political beliefs, with more easily disgusted people more likely to vote for more conservative parties.

Easily creeped out? Vote for this guy!

Experiments assessed people’s sensitivity to potentially squemish subjects and its relation to political ideology by asking them about slime, insects, and various political topics.

Participants who had the highest levels of disgust sensitivity were also more likely to oppose abortion and gay marriage, but support tax cuts.

Psychologist David Pizarro explained:

“People have pointed out for a long time that a lot of our moral values seem driven by emotion, and in particular, disgust appears to be one of those emotions that seems to be recruited for moral judgments.”

Shockingly, the result means that wusses perfectly rational people who are more averse to slime or creepy animals are more likely to vote for such conservative heroes as George Bush, John McCain and David Cameron. Hmmmm.

via: news:lite

Americans Now 83% More Productive At Wasting Time

A study by Nielsen Online has found that use of social networking sites by Americans has risen by 83 per cent in the past year, in a report released yesterday.

Don't click start. DON'T!

Facebook was the most popular stalking networking site, with 13.9 billion minutes spent on the service in April this year – an increase of 700 per cent from April 2008. 

Celebrity-haunt Twitter also enjoyed a meteoric rise of 3,712 per cent in minutes spent on the site, up to 300 million, from last years 7.8 million minutes.

Meanwhile, former king of procrastination MySpace saw its usage drop by almost one third to 4.9 million. 

Sucks for you, News Corp.

via: Xinhuanet

Obese Pregnant Women Advised Not To Become Pregnant With Food

Tens of women are known to have become pregnant with chocolatey food-babies.

A new study has shown that women who are overweight while pregnant may not need to gain any weight, as long as they focus on healthy, balanced eating.

Researcher Yvonne Thornton, MD, explained, 

“The take-home message is that you can eat well during your pregnancy without overeating, and pregnancy should not be a license to overeat, and pregnancy should not be a contributing factor to the epidemic of obesity in this country,”

The Institute of Medicine currently recommends that obese women gain between 11 and 20 pounds during pregnancy, but this new research finds that they can be healthy by maintaining their weight and a balanced diet.

Krispy Kreme will undoubtedly be disappointed by the news.

via: webMD