McLawsuit: McDonalds McSues Sardinian Snack Bar ‘McPuddus’

Local restaurant owner Ivan Puddu has incurred the McWrath of international fast food giant McDonalds by daring to append ‘Mc’ to his snack bar’s name.

McPissed Off: Ronald suits up.

Gordon Ramsay’s Mommy Makes Him Say Sowwy

Gordon Ramsay, with promting from him mummy-wum has today apologised for offensive comments he made to an Australian TV presenter. At a cooking expo in Melbourne over the weekend, Ramsay made a number of remarks about current affairs presenter Tracy … Continue reading →

Unsuspecting Man Attacked By Giant Hamburger

Obese Pregnant Women Advised Not To Become Pregnant With Food

Tens of women are known to have become pregnant with chocolatey food-babies.

A new study has shown that women who are overweight while pregnant may not need to gain any weight, as long as they focus on healthy, balanced eating.

Researcher Yvonne Thornton, MD, explained, 

“The take-home message is that you can eat well during your pregnancy without overeating, and pregnancy should not be a license to overeat, and pregnancy should not be a contributing factor to the epidemic of obesity in this country,”

The Institute of Medicine currently recommends that obese women gain between 11 and 20 pounds during pregnancy, but this new research finds that they can be healthy by maintaining their weight and a balanced diet.

Krispy Kreme will undoubtedly be disappointed by the news.

via: webMD

Tall Order: 10-year-old Refused Kid’s Meal For Being Too Tall

A 10-year-old boy was refused a discounted children’s meal last week for being 9cm too tall.

If you're too tall for one of these, you're too tall for a kid's meal.

The boy and his family went out for a meal at a Angel Chef, a Chinese buffet, in Gloucester and were left rather unamused when he was measured by restaurant staff and refused the discounted meal for being over the 140cm height limit.

The restaurant has said that there is a sign at the entrance of the restaurant explaining that ‘child’ actually means ‘person under 140cm’, not ‘under 18′ as previously thought.

An Angel Chef spokeswoman explained that: ”Since last year we started charging the adult price for children over 140cm” she said the decision is left “to the discretion of the manager.”

via: Metro

Krispy Kreme Clogs Sewer, Arteries

Officials in Virginia have accused diet-unfriendly pastry company Krispy Kreme of blocking its sewer system with its waste, in a lawsuit filed this month.

Doughnuts: slightly more appealing than using a picture of grease.

Fairfax County says the doughnut firm has caused damage to their sewage system by depositing its yeast and grease leftovers from its factory in Lorton.

County officials filed the lawsuit earlier this month after Krispy Kreme, who deny the charges, refused to pay almost $2 million in repairs.

Krispy Kreme has previously faced similar lawsuits from arteries that have claimed for extensive damage caused by grease deposits. Fortunately for the company, however, most courts do not accept claims made by blood vessels. Or fat people.

via: cnews

Obama Reveals Secret Latino Alliance By Ordering Cheeseburger With Jalapeños

President Barack Hussein Obama inadvertently revealed his secret alliance with extreme Latino political groups today by shunning the all-American cheeseburger for a Mexican-born jalapeño cheeseburger, it has been revealed. At around lunchtime today, Obama, with aides in tow, was driven to … Continue reading →

That’s The Way The Cookie Crumbles: Ex-Girl Scout Boss To Repay Stolen Dough

Cookies: the theft took a big bite out of the scout's profits.

A former Ohio Girl Scout leader is to repay the scout organisation $20,000 in indemnity for stealing money earned in cookie sales by girl scouts and using it on personal expenses such as holidays and shopping. 

The prosecution claimed the woman had access to the bank account used to deposit sales revenue that was to be used for the scout’s leisure activities. 

The woman entered a guilty plea last month to grand theft.

via: cnews

Thieving Sperm Whales Caught On Camera

Sea predators have been known to be evil for some time.

Sperm whales have been caught on camera this week stealing fish from poor unsuspecting fisherman who were probably about to put them back anyway! 

The sperm whales, notorious for their disregard for the law, are shown plucking black cod from the fishing lines, leaving the hard-working fishermen to starve. They usually do their dastardly deeds in depths of up to 2,000 meters (6,500 feet to you imperialists) in waters so deep that J.J. Abrams himself would struggle to get good lighting.

This time, however, the whales, known to have the largest brains of any animal to have ever lived on Earth, got cocky and decided to wrangle their dinner out of some fishermen instead.

Despite the video evidence, police say a conviction will still be immensely difficult due to the obvious language, and species, barriers. Crafty whales.

via: National Geographic

Jesus Returns To Earth In Form Of Marmite Lid

A family in South Wales have become the latest chosen ones to be visited by Jesus Christ himself in the form of an item of food.

If you look really closely, you can make out a scene from The Nativity.

Claire Allen was the first to be visited by the Saviour of our sins as she spread the notorious yeast extract on her son’s toast. In disbelief, she showed the sacred image to her husband, who confirmed that the image was, in fact, that of Jesus.

When I first looked at it I wasn’t sure, but when I moved it away from me it started coming out. I thought Christ, yeah, she’s right – that’s the image of Jesus.

Blashpemy aside, this is the second recorded Jesus sighting this week, with a woman also having found him in a bag of cheesy-poofs.

In related news, I thought I saw the Sasquatch this morning, but it turned out to be a cat.

via: The Scotsman